we have all been scarred one way or another

how many of us had jus one right relationship and got married? Of those who get married, how many get to live happily ever after?some of us are so haunted by one previous heartache tat we lose the faith in love maybe.some let hatred took over.i read a guy's blog who got ditched n hes now exacting revenge by sleeping ard with as many gals as he can now.

the thing is, isnt love supposed to conquer all?but as love seem to be the thing tat conquers all, it also can pierce ur heart n leave irreversible scars. the scars can only heal when,you open up and let love heal u.

wave after wave

Its been close to a year where i experienced emotional heartache. i was really wasting my life back then with nights of drinking, going to work late and the mind a blank all day long. and when i started to wake up from this terrible depression, my grandma left me. devastating blow after blow followed.surprisingly, i kinda got over gran's death in a couple of days...i duno if its becos subconsciously i have been preparing myself for it or i tot it was in her best interests of her to leave the physical suffering behind. i do still tink of her, hoping that she comes to my dream n we can relive the grandma-grandson relationship but it doesnt really always happen the way u wan it to be.i wonder if dreams are for sale. if so, whats the price u will be willing to pay for one sweet dream? as i put the death of granny away, it does seem life returned to normal. jus finally i tot....the clouds r clearing n i do see the sunshine after the rain. the oasis appearing after the dreaded journey in the desert.i found a reason to look forward to life each day suddenly.a reason to smile even after a hard days work.a reason to care n love but... as i tot i was drawing closer n closer to the oasis, it might turn out to be a mirage afterall.whats going to happen then? i wouldnt know.i duno its an oasis or mirage at this moment n i can only keep walking n walking towards it, hoping i do get the ending i wan for this episode. fucking emo again? no, it might be jus another wave.i really hope hope not.

Fight Club. Whos in?

i just caught fight club. nvr felt so estranged in my life until now. i liked the initial part of the movie. witty dark humour and a self alighment i had with the character. what are all of us to begin with? as the movie grew, so does the inner side of me.it grew darker, deeper, n lower; close to rock bottom. yea, when u lose everyting, thats when u can do anything. i duno why i am having such dark thoughts on a seemingly nice saturday afternoon. i feel released suddenly, wanting to do anyting tat comes to my mind be it good, bad, angelic or devilish. then the consciousness kick in. We r human beings, tats why we can control n do things which we deemed fit n necessary. we aint some foul smelling beasts which does nothing but eat sleep n reproduce as they deem liked. but in the movie, its showing what a human being is capable of doing, with the thoughts of an enraged soul lying in a corner of our minds.except that he gets away with it cos its a movie while u dun get a second chance in life.is tat why we r doing and what we r trying to do here? avoiding conflicts? avoiding fights? keeping the inner self in check while pursuing needless things?this movie is not for the ones on the fence; it will jus push u over the lawn of self decrepting wastes.u got to be responsible if u r tinking of watching this movie.u dun make omelettes without breaking a few eggs though... i broke mine

i lost so much today

26th Jun'08. the day my grandad took away gran from me. i got a call from dad during work n i feared the worst when i picked it up. he rarely calls. i rushed to the hospital with my work on hand seemingly the least important. i reached, i saw. doctors were trying to resuscitate my gran. doctor in charge told my family n me abt gran's condition. she had only abt an hr left. It proved to be my longest hr in my life yet. i went in, i saw her with so so many things attached to her body. i teared. i hear how much she suffered during the day while i laughed n make merry during work with my colleagues. i hate myself. i teared. i held her hand which used to be so big when she took mine n off we went to the market. now....my hand is larger but hers is colder. i cried. i nvr ever learn. jus when i started to take things for granted, fate gave me the cruelest blow. i reached home no mood for dinner no mood to shower i jus chain smoked staring at the dark sky. i suddenly see a vision of my grandad n gran's faces. they were smiling at each other, like 2 young lovebirds who met after a long while of separation.they smiled at me, and walked away.. towards the sunset along the beach back facing me. thats the only smile i had today

changing for the environment

had lunch with my new colleagues today. It became a regularity lunching out compared to the old times where ill faithfully ta bao to my office to eat. I always murmured to myself when i walked past these ppl having their meals outside: r they crazy?! lunching outside in this weather, n its hard to get a seat anyway. Now the mumbler became the mumbled.

A new workplace always has new rules, new sets of regulations to follow n when one has been so used to a regimental style, i feel uncomfortable working in the new workplace becos they give u so much freedom. So much that im worried im not doing enuff to earn my keep. Perhaps i have been well drilled doing enormous amts of work, working til unearthly hrs at times n going back to work on saturdays being a formality. When u have been doing from 20 vessels a month to jus 3 suddenly, u will realise that u have the time to fart.

Had dinner with melody and desiree today at carls' junior. 1st time eating there n ill say its not really that BIG as famed. The ladies said it had shrunk now. I realised.. i always jumped onto the band wagon when everyone has alighted.

u r not alone my fren

18th of June 2008. A day in the calendar year. Some had it ordinary, some had it exhilarating, some had it bad and some had it good. Whatever it is, we r all the same. We r humans, bounded by the same fixed cycle of live, ageing and death. If u had a good day, remember it and let it live as long as u can in ur mind. If u had a bad one, always know that there is someone out there who had it worst than u.

Come 19th of Jun where time waits for no one, know tat as it passes by, so too does the pain decreases. Its already the 19th.

I jus posted this blog, something happened thereafter and im back to add in this bit.

I got scolded by my grumpy dad cos my hp message tone is too loud for him. He will never do it to his other beloved son, my brother. Talk abt having a bad start to the day...... farc

a life movie tats unreal?

Caught the movie sex and the city with melody. I tot im smart becos i can usually predict whats going to happen in the movie but shes even better; beating me to it by predicting the happenings even faster than my overworked brain.

I can say tat its a good movie which i am able to relate myself to. However, as real life as i tot it is, the ending sort of disappoint me. You know.. the standard everyone gets what they wan n live happily ever after ending. I aint no pessimist but im sure in this world, not everyone gets the ending they wan out of someting. The thing i liked though, is tat i can see myself in most of the characters. Im not good with names(sexyback knows best...) so i shall jus call them by whatever i associate them with.

To start off, i know how sarah jessica parker felt when the lawyer fren didnt tell her someting which she ought to know. I have that experience too and believe you me, its not the nicest feeling to have. The sense of betrayal lingers even if the matter died down. Try as i might but the frenship is tainted. Pls understand. I forgived, but i cant forget.

The lawyer's husband...Steve if i didnt get it wrong. He made a single mistake in his relationship. He paid for it. Just once but its enuff. How many of us are allowed the redemption that we craved for after we made a critical mistake? I dont....but im fine, ill live with it. The only difference between us is that he is given a chance to rectify n make good. The reconciliation at the brookyln bridge made me realise the movie is heading towards the 'dreaded everyone will be happy' ending.

The woman who's with the actor...the one who likes to 'colour'. We r in the same boat cos while we both knew what we wanted, we cant get it and we do other things which we dun wan to do to distract ourselves. Im not saying i like to 'colour'; i dun sleep ard, i sleep at my home.

Mr Big. Comes across to me as the confident, everything is under his control man who ill like to emulate. That is...until he stood sarah up. Sadly thats what i can associate myself with of him at the moment. The times i didnt stand up for my loved ones or my frens linger in my mind. All has passed, i hope there will be none of that, i know there will be none of it.

It seems weird when my ending relates to the beginning of the movie, but all endings are the start of a new beginning i guess. Yes...i was the innocent, naive guy who came to the world looking for things like the young new-yorkers. Its thru life experiences tat shaped the me today. I didnt learn it the rosy way but im glad they happened. Im more prepared and sceptical in the future as a result. Sceptical might sound harsh...ill settle for ready instead. No, im not being emo again. I know im fine now, everyting has been laid to rest(im grateful for the taka encounter) and im looking forward to work tml. Righttttt.

school of nididas vs school of justin keys

so many things on my mind, so many things to say but i duno where to start. i jus had a chat with jodie on the topic RELATIONSHIPS. i liken the way we established the two different schools of tot. Not one for the purists.....if a person who is already attached went as far as hugging/kissing/fucking with u while the feelings towards each other are mutual, which school do u enrol to?

School A: u know, he/she knows the feelings are mutual. A la nike/adidas: just do it, impossible is nothing.

School B: there is a chinese idiom (pardon me my sp mates...though its more than 4 words its still a cheng yuu. it goes someting like u cut ppls head, be prepared for ppl to cut ur head. A la justin timberlake/alicia keys:nid i mention the songs?

Not trying to start a mass debate here n there are so much more views on these 2 schools. It could be school B is for the pessimists etc etc, we shant go into that and also.....pls dun flame me. not that i cared anyway but im jus a human who cant be a nice guy, tries to be a bad man n fails as well.

we r all selfish by nature

I was tinking....when u see someone close to u suffer from an illness, what do u really wish for? If death is a point everyone mus go thru, how shud we view it then? When my grandad left me suddenly due to a heart attack, the departure was so sudden that i blamed practically everything n everyone. Why is the chance of saying good bye deprived from me?

Now i see my granma. I realised what might have been a better route. I feel sad when my grandad left me, but its worse when i see my granma suffering now. Of cos initially i was tinking; 'pls, let her live'. That in a way is a selfish me, hoping to cling on to dear gran for the fear of losing her in my life. Little did i know that she will have to as a result, suffer at my expense. The illness, slowly taking over her strong n healthy body n reducing it to utter frailness. I realised i dun need an emotional hold hands hug her farewell anymore, i jus hope shes at peace. Grant me this wish n u own my soul

i saw it

I was on my way to the hospital visiting gran, plugging to my ipod in random songs mode. Suddenly, a song came, one that reminds me of my past relationship. I hear the lyrics carefully, i sing along with it in my heart, n realised though the words are beautiful, i have not really did what i had meant in the song to my special ones in the past. I told myself this is it. The song is not being played by random, its meant to be a sign for me; to learn the lesson, move on n be a better man. It was furthur reinforced when sam's words came ringing in my mind almost instantaneously. 'We all make mistakes, learn from this episode and it will make u a better person in the future. You will know more abt what u shud n shud not do and be a better lover. Thats the whole value in what has happened' It took me until now to really understand n believe it. thank you my fren.

I guess it not only applies to failed relationships. It can be same for businesses, driving tests(for ah pang) or rather, in all aspects of life. Lets all stop biatching abt life n learn as we grow old. Thats the only valuable thing in ageing.

maybe its definate

I woke up at 11am tks to sexyback's phone call harassment, i mean.... i shud get to wake up after 12 on a saturday right? I was lying on my bed talking to him on my cellphone n he has the cheek to ask me to leave my bed, walk to the living room and use the house phone to call him.

Am supposed to go cycling with shir at ec but i had to visit my gran who isnt feeling well at the hospital, so sorry to aeroplane her, sorry my bad. I reached there and was surprised to see my fren steph there. Her mum is actually sleeping beside my gran's bed, talk abt coincidence. We smiled, exchanged eye contacts and that was really it. Guess the hospital is not really a good place to see ur frens unless we r talking abt the baby delivery rooms. Granny is feeling tired today and didnt talk much. She fell asleep while i was sitting silently beside her. Suddenly she opened her eyes and asked me: ah kai, is ah ma going to die this time? I did not know what to say. I answered: why did u say that?(though we both know the answer to it; the devil has always been just a earshot away) She did not answer, closed her eyes n went back to sleep. Maybe this is living, life's really a bitch sometimes.

I left the hospital to catch a movie with Jodie and Joann; Definately Maybe. The cab fare costs me 20 bucks wtf! And when i collected the tickets, had a smoke n went back to our meeting place, the ladies are not here yet... not very interested la they. The movie was beautiful, but i felt im like the male lead, always missing the train and to suddenly come to terms with reality abt the things that u have always believed in life, that they are not what u believed, it can be devastating. When the movie ended, the two biatches turned to me and said: yingkai dun feel sad or lonely hor. Thats when i feel like committing my first assault on fellow human beings in GV tampines and slap them. But i love them la, they are good people.

Had dinner with them together with sexyback and koo bye at swensens. Eating is a chore as always. No prizes to guess who finished last. And the day ended with 3 guys drinking n eating stingray at old kallang airport hawker centre, talking nothing but cock as always. I love them too btw.

Brace urself

This is day 3 of my braces adventure. I had them on since saturday and had felt the impact more or less. No more burger king mushroom swiss, KFC cheese fries are out, bye bye apples, peanuts and popcorn. In came the porridge, mash potatoes and cereal drinks. Not to mention ktv sessions. It will come with a lao hong effect now. All in all, its still good compared to the tonsilitis i had last year where every food or drink is a nightmare. I cant really swallow like zoe tay. This is still fine except that the teeth hurt at the slightest touch. Not to mention the lips being bua-ed by the metal slots causing distress.

No Jodie; u wont even think of kissing, so ur concern is unwarranted. Nobody wants to kiss a metal mouth like u said. Ill say, u wont want to kiss people with a metal mouth either.

Maybe its better that way

For a long time i thought il succeed. For a long time i thought its only temporary. For a long time i thought all will be like the good old days. I have been wrong for a long time. I know what to do already. Tks sexyback, tks to those who tried talking sense to me while i act like a man who had lost everything in the world.

I wasnt really good these few weeks. I was visiting gran when she suddenly cant breathe well. Her condition got real bad that i have to bring her to the hospital. With my aunt stil working outside, we do not have any vehicle available. Thats where i felt the strain of uselessness. Yea, my dad always says owning a car is expensive, he rather not own one; my aunt said owning a car is expensive as well. But imagine owning a car in this situation where i can rush my gran to the hospital. I always have this "my family have to rely on others' vehicles to get to anywhere" thought. Call it egoistic, call it materialistic but im getting a car jus to dispel this sense of relying on others. I HATE it. In the end, i had to bring her down, hail a cab to send her to the hospital cos i reckon calling an ambulance might be too late.

I sat at the front while gran sat behind. We were in the cab for not for even a minute when she felt really terrible. She shouted she cant breathe and grabbed me from my back real tight. She told me she will die. At that moment, i duno what to do. I can only keep patting her back and tell her we are reaching the hospital soon though we are not. That sense of uselessness and helplessness when the grim reaper threatens to strike. What can mere mortals do? Fortunately, she managed to survive till we reached the hospital. That's where i turn from being sorrowful to a very angry man. The doctor was talking to one of the patients while i push my gran in the wheelchair. Gran was still shouting that she cant breathe n sighing so loudly everyones' eyes were fixated on grandma n grandson. I asked the doctor for help and he can give me a bloody 'pls get her to register first' reply. The A&E of Changi Hospital doesnt seem so A&E oriented at all to me. The nurse that came fared no better. She asked me a question twice when she is taking the blood pressure of my grandma and i snapped at the second reply. A thousand years also passed before she managed to get a reading of the blood pressure when a few seconds is all it takes. Then im left to wait outside while they gave my gran 4 injections.

My aunt arrived later and the doctor gave us an assessment of the condition. She teared when she heard what the doctor said. For the 1st time in my life, i hope my gran will go peacefully and stop her suffering. Its either saving her legs or saving her life. At age 80 plus, losing her legs is as good as dead i feel. And the scene of her telling me she is going to die when she grabs me in the cab. I guess grandpa is getting lonely and wants her to accompany him.

Maybe its time to stop being selfish to others, you and me alike.

Alone with 江山美人

Its been a while since i posted anything. Not becos im busy, not becos i couldnt be bothered but becos my life's such a routine there is nothing much to write abt. There are times where u jus wan to be not sober n spend the day away. There are times where u wan to be alone by urself. Yesterday was such a day. Was supposed to meet sexyback but jus suddenly have the urge to be alone. Cancelled outing with him n hit bedok for a movie alone. It seems none of my frens are interested in the movie 江山美人. Maybe it is becos of the way the movie title is named or none of them likes the actors/actress involved but its a good movie though. Its even better when its free sitting inside the dilapidated cinema with a mcnuggets meal in hand.

I have always like this type of movies with the 3000 plus people involved war scenes and the design of armours on each character. Their armours always come with a tinge of modernization that can put some designers to shame. Kelly Chen's helmet is a masterpiece. At first glance, it looks like a chicken's head with those long thin metal pieces sticking out but i guess the helmet typically signifies her. They both belong to the category of 'the more u look, the nicer they are' type.

Though its a war movie, there is ur usual love development between the leads and its really beautiful. Ladies might be turned off by the title (realy damm o'biang), so.... from a marketing perspective, it shud be renamed as 'Hot air ballon trip with ur loved one'. Hmmm this sucks from a male's point of view though. But trust me, while im seldom right of some things in life....i do have my fair share of correct judgements.

Riverfool

Man U 3 RiverFool 0 enuff said.... totally disgusting shit from the merseysiders. I only watched till half time and decided enuff is enuff. Gone are the days where Liverpool passed the ball ard till we all gona fall asleep before doing a killer move like an eagle swiping down for a kill. The Liverpool now makes me sleep from the 1st minute. Damm the Reds

Using heart is hard

How many times have we used our heart over our head to make a decision and came off tinking what it might have been had we be more clear minded? In my younger days, i always thought the heart will rule over the head, do what your heart says my voice in the head always echos...until recently where i know my dad is getting on in years, with illnesses starting to ravage the flailing human body. It made me change my viewpoint. As the eldest son, i know i have to do something about it.

Im at a crossroad now. Lying ahead of me are three routes:
A. To carry on working in my present co. under a diff dept with a good pay.
B. Join a company with a familiar environment consisting of some colleagues i have worked for 4 years.
C. Joining none and start afresh.

Money vs Feelings: the eternal battle. Its rare ppl can have the best of both worlds i would say. Doing what you like and getting paid for it. I like to sleep, i dun get paid for it, i like to play football, im not pro enough. Nobody pays me to drink..... the list goes on and on. By staying in the present co, i get a good pay rise compared to that if i choose option B. Maybe the choice is clear enuff, perhaps being sentimental is my Achilles heel.

I have actually made up my mind where ill be heading with just some loose ends to tie. Whether is correct or wrong, it will only be known in the future. Guess thats the beauty of life where uncertainty lurks.

Miracle and Disaster

Sunday morning...i woke up at 945am although i gamed till 4am. Miracle. I was still lying on my bed when i heard my mom talking to our neightbour. 'Fwah, very suay, my son is showering, i have no keys.' Her son, is my younger bro. Of course she didnt even think abt her other son being awake at that time; not a chance. I walked to the door with my keys, opened the door for her and tell her its her lucky day and she agreed with a smile.

I spent my morning watching movies til i canot take it ard 3pm. Took a nap and the nap cost me 4 sunday hours. I woke up at 7pm. Disaster. How ironic; i wanted to wake up early so i wont waste my sunday to sleep. I managed that, but i threw it away by napping for 4hrs. Maybe im really tired. I had a cycling session with Kel the previous day. I duno how we did it but we cycled for close to 2 hrs. We combed thru ec, we went to the jetty...memoirs of bran surfaced. I used to have such fun times cycling here. We will cycle n enjoy the breeze, we will drink and chat under the tree....its all memories to me now, happy memories ill bring to my grave surely.

lean mean machina vs bloke with a d-shaped body

I finally did it. I was talking to Addex during CNY eve abt signing up for gym. I was telling Ken to sign up for gym together for a week. I discussed with Bryan abt joining a gym for 2 weeks. Then came the hr of enlightment: i was doing the irritable channel switching activity at gran's house when i hit MTV channel. Hollywood's 100 sexist bodies were on showcase. I see Will Smith's body in I am Legend, i see Brad Pitt's in Troy...I see Brandon in the mirror....

So it is..today im officially a gym member en route to a lean mean machina. Not really also....im not looking to turn myself into The Rock or The Ultimate Warrior but it will be helpful to shed some meat off my belly. Its becoming a joke among those who have seen it and something mus be done quik before they link my belly pics to Steven Lim's videos.

I got 'yellow carded' by my manager today. Seems the back logs of my work is drving people in my company nuts. Everyone in Finance Dept is waiting for me to close their accounts. Anyone who sees me tells me their things are urgent. Someone told me to quit my job to find a better one. No one knows what im going through.

If my life span is 56, im having a mid life crisis at the moment.

Sweet Dreams

I had a sweet dream recently. I wont say what i dreamt abt but it was really really nice. It felt so good that when i woke up, i dont want to believe tat it was all but a dream. I have not felt such happiness for a very long time. It felt so real that when i woke up, i was left largely disappointed that it is not a reality. We all know whats reality but we choose not to face it sometimes. Thats what i did, trying to go back to sleep n hoping to dream the same dream again but it never came. Ill work towards making that dream come true. I still do, i still care.

Edison the Edoit

Its been a while, hope everyone have been good in this ratty year. Of cos, the most happenig places on earth now are Hong Kong (for the Edison episode) as well as some parts of China where copies of his 'works' are unrelentingly being copied.

I am baffled by what that kuku has said in his press conference. Sure, his dressing is being complimented as being dark and solemn but his speech somehow left much to be desired abt. I cant feel his remorse throughout the whole thing, he still want what ill called 'kek sey' and what he said really gave netizens more things to bomb him on. The best one? 'I'll be devoting my time to charity' That is a joke ill say.... First.... u dun go around telling people you are going to do charity work. That is so fake; you are telling people of the good things you are going to do. Second, does it mean tat you are doing charity work only when u have done something wrong? Yea, i might be overly critical but some comments i have read really made me laugh. People suggested he can do charity work by donating sperm to the sperm banks. Im not sure if that is in demand but i thought he shud be the hottest property for camera giants like Nikon or Canon. Given his love for photography and excellent shooting skills, no surprises if he ends up being a spokeman for either of the companies.

Just when im slowly taking it for granted...

I was having a chat with Cherv n Kel after a hearty meal when Dad called. He was at the hospital; granny isnt doing too good and there might be a possibility things will turn for the worst. I ended the gathering and made my way to the hospital and how the old familiar feeling resurfaces.

We all get worried when we hear news like this. We get even more worried if we have all along took it for granted that they will constantly be there whenever we want to see them at every weekend family gathering. I saw my relatives waiting at the leisure corner cos the doctor n nurses were drawing blood/urine samples and attaching wires onto my beloved gran. We waited for a good 1/2 hr before they were done and i walked into the ward full of sick patients. I saw her asleep, with a weathered face apparently enduring a pain which we wouldnt know how it really felt on her tired body. Doctors advised they will do tests on the samples collected and revert thereafter but this is still a critical time. My eyes felt wet, my nose turned runny, i want to cry but decided to cry 'inside' instead. I have to give the mental toughness n support to my other aunts who were there. The last thing i wan is to start a crying ensemble in the ward at 1130pm. The feeling isnt good when this is the only 80 plus year old lady im very very close with in this world.

For everything else, there's........

Rambo--->$7.00
Mcnuggets meal--->$7.00
Haircut--->$19.00
Dunhill frost--->$11.60
Pizza with dad and mom--->$23.50
2 bottles of Carlsberg--->$10.60
Fifa'07 with Bryan and shouting--->Priceless

I didnt mention abt the free jap buffet i had with sexyback and his younger brother. Wasnt really free if i have to count the endless shit i have to put up with him. This is classified under 'Repayment'.

I reckon we r both sad ppl. He has his problems, i have mine. He was talking abt it few weeks ago and still talking abt it now....so do i. Lets hope things wil clear up for the both of us. Fren.... u know what needs to be done la, i shall say no more.

I saw a MTV that was so touching. After i watched it, my aunt called to get me downstairs to help her carry some prawns to my house. I was literally choking thru the phone that she thought there's something wrong with me. Damm, the Koreans are good tear inducers.......

Beware of fridays

Meeting Ken, Kel and Vun on fridays only guarantees a toxic overdose. Add that to the fragile defence of mine and u have a someone burping out Tiger even when he is bathing. Not helping my case cos im only on a 20 sit ups regime which is condemned and sniggered almost universally... but hey.. i have the fats now...i jus need time to convert them to 'muscles from brussels' as Ma Tai put it few years back.

Im in control, i know it. It just that sometimes my heart overuled my head. There are times like this and as Nat put it, its just one of those nights....the type of nights that ill love to vanquish...

I drink, i end up sleeping in da living room and im loving it.

I lied.

7 deadly sins

Word for word, im gonna see what sins i have.....

☑Pride
Not one who will readily accept others' views and advice though i might be wrong and they are just in it to guide me back.

ؽEnvy
You drive ur BM, u stay in ur 1mil condo for all i care. As long as i get the occasional free rides home and get to attend ur house warming for the food, im fine.

☑Gluttony
Bring on KFC cheese fries or black pepper crab anyday!

☑Lust
Ill be plain honest. Who doesnt look at hunks or babes?

☑Anger
Join my company, buy a DVD player like mine that randomly refuses to fast forward the scenes.

☑Greed
Only non 4D/Toto/soccer betting people can leave the box unchecked. I need to check the box 3 times though.

☑Sloth
Testimonials will reveal i can minimally qualify as a Sloth-in-command. Sleeping is my hobby.

Ohhh btw im single, who's interested???

Just for a laugh

I told Donald im cutting down my alcohol intake to once a week, he laughed.
I told Kel I will get gold for coming IPPT, he laughed.
I told Sexyback i hate him, he laughed.
I told Kiam Hwa ill join the next soccer session, he laughed.
I told Ken im disgusted with the song 温柔, he laughed.
I told YY im signing up for gym, he laughed.
I told Cherv i hate bowling cos the shoes at the bowling alleys stink, she laughed.
I told Joyce ill sleep early everynight, she laughed.
I told Jodie i am her good fren, she laughed.
I told Sam i wished we know who is Zhang Guo Si, he laughed.
I told Ah Pang i will arrange for gathering when she is overseas, she laughed.
I told Ma Tai i failed 2.4km, he laughed.

I looked at what i have typed, i laughed.

十年了....

Dinner with poly frens is always talking abt past events. I duno y but we have the knack of digging things which happen then and babble it to our own silly tune.

Sam, Ah Pang and myself are the on-timers, Ma Tai is the best dressed late comer,Jodie....hao xiang bu shi hen interested. She came after i finished my 1st can of coke. This place we were dining...has really nice chicken rice and really slow kikkoman sauce. U have to wait for a while before the sauce slowly makes it way out of its comfort zone onto the fragrant rice. I dun understand but i tink Sam's fren's house toilet must be very well equipped. Ah Pang and Sam went up to borrow toilet and the 3 of us waited till we are impatient and decided to forsake them. The toilet must have a tv in it....

We went Spinelli's after going Cineleisure to draw money and absorbing the essence of youth from the young ppl there. As we waited for the arrival of Ah Pang and Sam, we bumped into Adrian. Another polymate who shares the same boring tutorials, boring lectures with me. Jodie brought along some photographs taken at our bbq back then. Everyone were ugly.Period. I didnt know what i was doing to myself with the ekin lookalike hair. Yes, thats wat they all call me in school. Ekin lookalike when my hands cover my face. That's y i love them. Endless sarcasm with no real evil intent and forever repeating jokes which are always funny i duno y.

When the two finally linked up, we went for our very 1st ktv session in ten years. That's when i hear my partners in crime sing and make merry. A pity i didnt bring my camera, becos the cameras ard jus dun seem to make the mark leh. Sry Ma Tai i gota say it; ur camera screen is smaller than my mobile phone screen. Sry Ah Pang, ur camera dun have touch screen....anyway.. we had some nice wacky photos but i still wont paste them here. Too lazy n hassle,go to Ah Pang's site n see la.

Ma Tai left...Sam left...jus Jodie, Ah Pang n me visiting Swensen's at Crown Prince. 3 ppl sharing a portion of baked rice, 3 ppl with own sad story, 3 ppl with own complains. But its also 3 ppl who talked and share problems openly which made all of us feel better i would say.

Yea, i enjoyed myself tat day. Pity we dun really meet that often but well ppl, we made tat outing worth the wait eh.

Tks to.........

Following post is not for the hardcore religion ppl, its only for those who have an open mind.......

Tks to those who cared abt me; words of encouragement u all have given me, though i haven implement it, they lay in a part of me waiting to be awaken.

Tks to those who called me every now n then(only 1 arse); i enjoy talking derogatory n evil stuff with you. You make me a balanced man in my angelic life with those devilish conversations which u and me hope none will know abt eternally.

Tks to those who sang n drank with me; KTVs wil never be the same without u ppl with those nonsensical 'ho yi liaos' and voice breaking songs to go with.

Tks to those who aeroplane me when i tot i will have ur companionship... JAL is missing a good air stewardess believe you me.

Tks to those who proposed for outings a day after all has already happened. Credit suisse ppl are not stupid wat......

Im not committing suicide; im not writing my last blog n sending it to TCS before i go on a shooting spree in some schools in sg, its jus tat i want to make my feelings known shud i be gone suddenly like MC King. Im sure he has so much more to say than me here but he hasnt got the chance.

Tell me God, why does the bad happen to the good n the good happen to the bad? Trials to test the faith like God did to Job? I agree with u angel Morrie, perhaps he overdid it....

Wat now 2008?

It's overdue, its kinda irrelevent but im saying it nonetheless. Farc 2007, its been a hellish year at least for me. For those who have had fond memories of 2007, we stand on different platforms then. Faced with a new job scope and new relationship status, it was never easy as i felt i have been fighting alone in work with no loved one to share my problems n offering diff viewpoints n encouragement.

A few days of 2008 passed, gradual improvement in my mood i must say... sadness, misery reduced with a tinge of hatred coming in. Im having a 'of watever u do, dun make me.. dun' mood.

A new interest? A flash in the pan? A derogatory life? A way to distract my mind? Yea, it all fits into this current new lifetyle im having right now. A form of escape, a form of transfering the affections away, but i know it wont last, i know it will bear no fruit.