Do i have it? The aura of despair? Not sure but on evidence it aint not so positive. Bala on saturday is...well ok sexyback likes it so i shant say much. Had a couple of drinks there before we adjourned to Timbre. This place rocs as far as i am concerned. The live band souns like ur typical Offspring...the type i hanker for. They wacked watever songs coming their way...maybe u will see me more often there. I got intro to James, Cresse and Irene. All looked a different league than i am but its a wonder how friendly they are. We chatted as if we know each others for years. We went to Crewroom after that cos they tot we had an urge to sing and thats where i discovered the coolest place for a smoke.
On the second level which we were sitted, there is a door by the toilet which opens to the roof. I was smoking there when i tot i can climb onto the latch. I tot for a while n heck, morrie was in my head.. go along..as long as u dun harm urself or others and there i was...lying alone on the latch of the roof glazing the stars as i puffed my cigarette away. It was there i saw Andy, sexyback's fren working there and he told me to 'let things go'. Funny i didnt tell him abt wat im unhappy with but there he was telling me, givng me advise and spurring me on. Funny number 2 when i accompanied Cressie down to hail a cab for her. We were smoking and there she was telling me: hey let things go, dun be sad anymore though its hard. I really do give ppl the aura of despair? We had a good chat exchanging experiences before she got on the cab but for 2 ppl who knew me on the actual day to cheer up, i must have looked like a gloom or acted like one.
Dun really care now, seeing dbl vision n 'drifting'....
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
I Am Bored
Thats how i felt when i was watching I Am Legend. Met up with my army campmates for this one and the movie sort of suck. Maybe i expected too much from Will Smith, maybe i got fooled by the trailer cos as far as i am concerned, the movie was painfully slow and i dun find the injected humour humorous. The idea of supposedly living alone in a city is refreshing though i must say. Sometimes we need to be alone in our own world, sometimes we need our own space but most of the time, we need companionship. I see how Will loses his petdog and somehow, i can really feel the pain he is going thru... ur only support, ur only pillar leaving you. When that happens, u lose ur direction, u lose ur senses. You do things which ur calm mind will not think of sometimes;u do irrational things. For him, he decides to have a showdown with the 'seekers' i tink, knowing he has no chance of survival. That's what it can drive humans. Then there will be someone, that someone who will rescue u from ur point of self destruction. The someone who will 'light up the darkness'(one of the 2 meaningful quotes in the movie) The other meaningful quote? Go watch the movie only if u r tat desperate to know.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
1 Martell.. make it 2.. make it 3
No, i didnt stay n finish the 3rd Martell for my buddy kel's bday celebration.(Sry for the screw up Angie, my bad.. will make it up on the next outing with u n sexyback. Ill pay for the....mixers?)
Maybe becos i wan to come home and write this blog; its been a while hasnt it? Been hooked to an online mmorpg game iggy recommends.. bro.. duno if you did the right thing or not haha! Consecutive nights of gaming with u guys till 0300 is not helping me achieve longevity. Fellow colleagues also wont like to see a zombified colleague snapping at anything coming his way.
Maybe its the tempting fried fish soup that i craved before drinking. The more i drink, the hungrier i got and here i am, having a satisfied meal with fish soup mixing wih the martell in my stomach -.- There was a little girl at the fish soup stall: Kian Hua Wan Ton Mee.. yea..Wan Ton Mee they sell also. She is like wat...at most 13-14 years old but she is helping her parents(i presume) at the stall even at a time like 0230. Kudos to her. Not easy for a girl her age but what she learns will be valuable experiences dealing with the society or so i hope. It might not be an understatement to say she is the only 13-14 year old girl helping at her parents' stall at this time in sg, correct me if im wrong.
Maybe its becos i feel bad after giving Eric a piece of my mind. The guy has a history of over dosing himself with liquor and claiming he is all right at the same time all the time. I have seen too much of it and decided to go on a lashing spree on him. I was despicably frank with him and after he left... i couldnt help but feel remorseful abt it. What right do we have to criticize others if we did not render any help to them? That's wat my driving instructor said to me. If you didnt try to help, dun criticize when things go wrong on them cos u didnt do ur part anyway. Ahhh the self sufficient might say, we r all responsible for our own lives n decisions we make but i beg to differ. Friends are there for a reason: if u see ur fren bleeding on his leg but he doesnt know it, wil u tell him abt it? Yes, he might continue to walk clumsily, fall n bleed again but i felt the least u can do is to apply some ointment on the wound, if u get wat im trying to say. My tots, my views, u can choose to agree or disagree to hell i care. Enuff of being the everytime nice guy already. Ill be nice when i need to be, ill farc u when i have to; i wont want to see you rot.
And yea, Mr Fabio Capello...ill learn a new language in a month if i earn 6.5 mil pounds a year like you do.
Maybe becos i wan to come home and write this blog; its been a while hasnt it? Been hooked to an online mmorpg game iggy recommends.. bro.. duno if you did the right thing or not haha! Consecutive nights of gaming with u guys till 0300 is not helping me achieve longevity. Fellow colleagues also wont like to see a zombified colleague snapping at anything coming his way.
Maybe its the tempting fried fish soup that i craved before drinking. The more i drink, the hungrier i got and here i am, having a satisfied meal with fish soup mixing wih the martell in my stomach -.- There was a little girl at the fish soup stall: Kian Hua Wan Ton Mee.. yea..Wan Ton Mee they sell also. She is like wat...at most 13-14 years old but she is helping her parents(i presume) at the stall even at a time like 0230. Kudos to her. Not easy for a girl her age but what she learns will be valuable experiences dealing with the society or so i hope. It might not be an understatement to say she is the only 13-14 year old girl helping at her parents' stall at this time in sg, correct me if im wrong.
Maybe its becos i feel bad after giving Eric a piece of my mind. The guy has a history of over dosing himself with liquor and claiming he is all right at the same time all the time. I have seen too much of it and decided to go on a lashing spree on him. I was despicably frank with him and after he left... i couldnt help but feel remorseful abt it. What right do we have to criticize others if we did not render any help to them? That's wat my driving instructor said to me. If you didnt try to help, dun criticize when things go wrong on them cos u didnt do ur part anyway. Ahhh the self sufficient might say, we r all responsible for our own lives n decisions we make but i beg to differ. Friends are there for a reason: if u see ur fren bleeding on his leg but he doesnt know it, wil u tell him abt it? Yes, he might continue to walk clumsily, fall n bleed again but i felt the least u can do is to apply some ointment on the wound, if u get wat im trying to say. My tots, my views, u can choose to agree or disagree to hell i care. Enuff of being the everytime nice guy already. Ill be nice when i need to be, ill farc u when i have to; i wont want to see you rot.
And yea, Mr Fabio Capello...ill learn a new language in a month if i earn 6.5 mil pounds a year like you do.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
It's.........
It's.....funny i chose to meet up with 2 buggers for dinner;Sexyback n Shawn. I duno y but they always have the uncanny ability to make me go on a vulgarity spree. One arranged to pick me up at IP at 2015 but he's at Parkway Parade 2020. The other can wait until we call him, then he moves his ass down from his house to the meeting point. The 3rd bugger, yy is at bala. Duno wad happened to him these days but i reckon he is busy with another yy. Maybe sexyback is right....we r frens...thats y we shud take each others' shet.
It's.....weird that i alighted from a taxi clearly sober after a night of clubbing at O Bar(if u call putting both hands in your trousers' pockets while the dj spins his tracks). I can walk straight in a line to my lift without tripping a step. I was there for Donald's pre bday celebration. I had enuff of hangovers lately and my folds of fats evolved from my ONCE washboard abs motivated me to keep my drinks at a minimum. No beers, little chivas here n there is enuff for the night.
It's.....about time i hit the exercise regime. Not a pretty sight i am with those folds and to think i told myself i wont end up like the same as my dad's 'happy belly'. A subscription to a gym membership beckons. No yy....no sexyback....i want a gym with complete amenities, one which is near my home. Not one with babes or wat have u.
It's.....mystifying when u keep going back to situations where u will hurt yourself over and over again. Its a cycle which i cant get out at the moment. Emotionally, im drained and i duno wad i can do to get out of it. Frens can be there for you but they have their own commitments, their own matters to take care of. Ultimately, you take care of yourself but the heart is what im using to think at the moment.
It's.....unexplainable im writing my blog at this hour when im gonna wake up at 0730 next morning. Always the same old story:sleep late, wake up next morning promising myself to sleep early that night but sleep late again. Yea, maybe you r right, im j.
It's.....weird that i alighted from a taxi clearly sober after a night of clubbing at O Bar(if u call putting both hands in your trousers' pockets while the dj spins his tracks). I can walk straight in a line to my lift without tripping a step. I was there for Donald's pre bday celebration. I had enuff of hangovers lately and my folds of fats evolved from my ONCE washboard abs motivated me to keep my drinks at a minimum. No beers, little chivas here n there is enuff for the night.
It's.....about time i hit the exercise regime. Not a pretty sight i am with those folds and to think i told myself i wont end up like the same as my dad's 'happy belly'. A subscription to a gym membership beckons. No yy....no sexyback....i want a gym with complete amenities, one which is near my home. Not one with babes or wat have u.
It's.....mystifying when u keep going back to situations where u will hurt yourself over and over again. Its a cycle which i cant get out at the moment. Emotionally, im drained and i duno wad i can do to get out of it. Frens can be there for you but they have their own commitments, their own matters to take care of. Ultimately, you take care of yourself but the heart is what im using to think at the moment.
It's.....unexplainable im writing my blog at this hour when im gonna wake up at 0730 next morning. Always the same old story:sleep late, wake up next morning promising myself to sleep early that night but sleep late again. Yea, maybe you r right, im j.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Pre-Olympic Games
I just got back from Xiamen business trip. Thoguh i managed to achieve what i wanted to do there, i was unwittingly dragged into the pre olympic games competition with the chinese there.
Event number 1: Withstanding the cold wind at night while walking along the streets.
I duno wats the temeperature there but im only wearing a normal long sleeve business shirt while my chinese counterparts are warmly fitted with sweaters. Of cos, as a singaporean representative, i have to keep my cool or in this case, fire and brave thru the bone piercing wind as we take a slow walk after dinner. It was so cold that i break into shivers sometimes and when i speak, it was close to mumbling. I dun really have a business wear for cold weather. Maybe i shud get one of those, say, trenchcoats like Jose Morinho.
Event number 2: Beer drinking competition.
The manager of the company had his frens from Qingdao visiting him and we had dinner together. The 11 of us head to a restaurant where practically everyting is buffet style; including beer..... As i waited for their arrival, i saw a man sneeze and subsequently spit his mucus out from his mouth just beside the place he is sitting -.- When the group arrived, they wasted no time swooping for the bottles of beer in sight. 30? 40? i duno how many bottles we had. When we realised all bottles are still capped and need to be opened, they did not call for the waitresses. Instead, they took out their own beer bottle opener from their pockets. Who da hell will carry beer bottle opener around! These men are the stalwarts, the pros. I look at my china female colleague who was sitting at the next table and somehow i tink i can read from her eyes: 'good luck fren'. They took turns to 'cheers' their new found singaporean fren and i dun really want to talk abt wat happen to me after dinner that night.
There we have it. The score after the two events: China 2 Singapore 0
Event number 1: Withstanding the cold wind at night while walking along the streets.
I duno wats the temeperature there but im only wearing a normal long sleeve business shirt while my chinese counterparts are warmly fitted with sweaters. Of cos, as a singaporean representative, i have to keep my cool or in this case, fire and brave thru the bone piercing wind as we take a slow walk after dinner. It was so cold that i break into shivers sometimes and when i speak, it was close to mumbling. I dun really have a business wear for cold weather. Maybe i shud get one of those, say, trenchcoats like Jose Morinho.
Event number 2: Beer drinking competition.
The manager of the company had his frens from Qingdao visiting him and we had dinner together. The 11 of us head to a restaurant where practically everyting is buffet style; including beer..... As i waited for their arrival, i saw a man sneeze and subsequently spit his mucus out from his mouth just beside the place he is sitting -.- When the group arrived, they wasted no time swooping for the bottles of beer in sight. 30? 40? i duno how many bottles we had. When we realised all bottles are still capped and need to be opened, they did not call for the waitresses. Instead, they took out their own beer bottle opener from their pockets. Who da hell will carry beer bottle opener around! These men are the stalwarts, the pros. I look at my china female colleague who was sitting at the next table and somehow i tink i can read from her eyes: 'good luck fren'. They took turns to 'cheers' their new found singaporean fren and i dun really want to talk abt wat happen to me after dinner that night.
There we have it. The score after the two events: China 2 Singapore 0
Sunday, December 2, 2007
we walked n walked in a sea of humans
I met Chervelle today. I had so many places to go and she is kind enuff to accompany me. She had her own agenda too.. buying a christmas gift for her bf. 1st stop was suntec where i found the thing im looking for but they dun have the size. Bad start i thought but its still only the 1st stop and off we went to the dreaded place on saturday called Orchard Road. Heeren Swatch was next where i went to collect a watch. From Heeren, we walked to Taka's mens department. Cant find anything there too within her budget.. hmmm 150 to buy a working bag.. is it realy that tough?
I wanted to buy Emporio Armani perfume in Tangs but heck they only have Giorgio there. Double heck when we asked the salesgirl if Tangs carry Emporio. She hissed and pointed: its jus beside you. I know its hard working in retail.. so i jus said: umm thats Giorgio, we r looking for Emporio. 'Oh we dun have that' followed. Duno abt brands neh mind.. i didnt know a brand called Vera Wang existed til Sam told me but minimumly, u shud know ur area of work. I know mine:i know where my pantry is, i know where the coffee sachets are, i know wads in my company's fridge. Enuff lamenting, maybe she is new, maybe she can read all words except Emporio.
Not much happened on our way to Pacific Plaza.. i collected my second watch and thats when cher's fren Melody called and arranged to meet us at cineleisure. Men will know wad im tinking in my mind: Holy Shet...Heeren to Pacific Plaza to Cineleisure. Our legs are not configured to walk for long distance in shopping areas.
We met, we had dinner at LJS then we went to Balcony to pass time before they go to party. No, not me, i had enuff of these for the week. The two girls, they talked abt their bfs in 9 of their 10 sentences. They complain what they are unhappy abt, what they want their bfs to do for them but the bfs didnt etc etc. It set me thinking... girls talk abt their bfs and problems while we guys seldom do that.
I must have given my ex a lot of things to say in front of her frens, i must have made her feel real sad as she sought their advices, i must have given her undue stress when she cant talk abt the problems to me, i must have been a bad bf, i must start....to forgive myself for the past 1st then.
I wanted to buy Emporio Armani perfume in Tangs but heck they only have Giorgio there. Double heck when we asked the salesgirl if Tangs carry Emporio. She hissed and pointed: its jus beside you. I know its hard working in retail.. so i jus said: umm thats Giorgio, we r looking for Emporio. 'Oh we dun have that' followed. Duno abt brands neh mind.. i didnt know a brand called Vera Wang existed til Sam told me but minimumly, u shud know ur area of work. I know mine:i know where my pantry is, i know where the coffee sachets are, i know wads in my company's fridge. Enuff lamenting, maybe she is new, maybe she can read all words except Emporio.
Not much happened on our way to Pacific Plaza.. i collected my second watch and thats when cher's fren Melody called and arranged to meet us at cineleisure. Men will know wad im tinking in my mind: Holy Shet...Heeren to Pacific Plaza to Cineleisure. Our legs are not configured to walk for long distance in shopping areas.
We met, we had dinner at LJS then we went to Balcony to pass time before they go to party. No, not me, i had enuff of these for the week. The two girls, they talked abt their bfs in 9 of their 10 sentences. They complain what they are unhappy abt, what they want their bfs to do for them but the bfs didnt etc etc. It set me thinking... girls talk abt their bfs and problems while we guys seldom do that.
I must have given my ex a lot of things to say in front of her frens, i must have made her feel real sad as she sought their advices, i must have given her undue stress when she cant talk abt the problems to me, i must have been a bad bf, i must start....to forgive myself for the past 1st then.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Definately maybe
Definately maybe im determined to do what i have been doing.
Definately maybe im doing it for love.
Definately maybe im doing it for the attachment.
Definately maybe im expecting a miracle to happen.
Definately maybe im jus a fool.
Orchard with christmas deco is so so beautiful. The atmosphere, the lights, the decorations.. little wonder its the favorite holiday for most of us. This holiday always gives me a very magical feeling. Its like facing a cold weather but feeling the warmth of the ppl around you. I can feel peace jus by looking at the lights as they glitter like millions of stars close up. A pity i didnt bring my camera along to take some shots but maybe ill do it someday. I asked the guys sexyback, yy and hwee to go town with me tomolo night to take pictures and they all kept silent.... i mean.... is it really such an off idea? They are not fugly, i dun tink im fugly too, so...wads the problem?
The spirit, the momentum of the christmas season is approaching and i am actually a little afraid becos i know this year's christmas will not be the same. It could be a merry, merry christmas, lonely, lonely christmas 写了卡片能寄给谁, 心碎的象街上的纸屑. There is a limit as to how much frens can help. The rest, they say, is up to yourself.
Definately maybe im doing it for love.
Definately maybe im doing it for the attachment.
Definately maybe im expecting a miracle to happen.
Definately maybe im jus a fool.
Orchard with christmas deco is so so beautiful. The atmosphere, the lights, the decorations.. little wonder its the favorite holiday for most of us. This holiday always gives me a very magical feeling. Its like facing a cold weather but feeling the warmth of the ppl around you. I can feel peace jus by looking at the lights as they glitter like millions of stars close up. A pity i didnt bring my camera along to take some shots but maybe ill do it someday. I asked the guys sexyback, yy and hwee to go town with me tomolo night to take pictures and they all kept silent.... i mean.... is it really such an off idea? They are not fugly, i dun tink im fugly too, so...wads the problem?
The spirit, the momentum of the christmas season is approaching and i am actually a little afraid becos i know this year's christmas will not be the same. It could be a merry, merry christmas, lonely, lonely christmas 写了卡片能寄给谁, 心碎的象街上的纸屑. There is a limit as to how much frens can help. The rest, they say, is up to yourself.
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