wave after wave

Its been close to a year where i experienced emotional heartache. i was really wasting my life back then with nights of drinking, going to work late and the mind a blank all day long. and when i started to wake up from this terrible depression, my grandma left me. devastating blow after blow followed.surprisingly, i kinda got over gran's death in a couple of days...i duno if its becos subconsciously i have been preparing myself for it or i tot it was in her best interests of her to leave the physical suffering behind. i do still tink of her, hoping that she comes to my dream n we can relive the grandma-grandson relationship but it doesnt really always happen the way u wan it to be.i wonder if dreams are for sale. if so, whats the price u will be willing to pay for one sweet dream? as i put the death of granny away, it does seem life returned to normal. jus finally i tot....the clouds r clearing n i do see the sunshine after the rain. the oasis appearing after the dreaded journey in the desert.i found a reason to look forward to life each day suddenly.a reason to smile even after a hard days work.a reason to care n love but... as i tot i was drawing closer n closer to the oasis, it might turn out to be a mirage afterall.whats going to happen then? i wouldnt know.i duno its an oasis or mirage at this moment n i can only keep walking n walking towards it, hoping i do get the ending i wan for this episode. fucking emo again? no, it might be jus another wave.i really hope hope not.