i lost so much today

26th Jun'08. the day my grandad took away gran from me. i got a call from dad during work n i feared the worst when i picked it up. he rarely calls. i rushed to the hospital with my work on hand seemingly the least important. i reached, i saw. doctors were trying to resuscitate my gran. doctor in charge told my family n me abt gran's condition. she had only abt an hr left. It proved to be my longest hr in my life yet. i went in, i saw her with so so many things attached to her body. i teared. i hear how much she suffered during the day while i laughed n make merry during work with my colleagues. i hate myself. i teared. i held her hand which used to be so big when she took mine n off we went to the market. now....my hand is larger but hers is colder. i cried. i nvr ever learn. jus when i started to take things for granted, fate gave me the cruelest blow. i reached home no mood for dinner no mood to shower i jus chain smoked staring at the dark sky. i suddenly see a vision of my grandad n gran's faces. they were smiling at each other, like 2 young lovebirds who met after a long while of separation.they smiled at me, and walked away.. towards the sunset along the beach back facing me. thats the only smile i had today