I was on my way to the hospital visiting gran, plugging to my ipod in random songs mode. Suddenly, a song came, one that reminds me of my past relationship. I hear the lyrics carefully, i sing along with it in my heart, n realised though the words are beautiful, i have not really did what i had meant in the song to my special ones in the past. I told myself this is it. The song is not being played by random, its meant to be a sign for me; to learn the lesson, move on n be a better man. It was furthur reinforced when sam's words came ringing in my mind almost instantaneously. 'We all make mistakes, learn from this episode and it will make u a better person in the future. You will know more abt what u shud n shud not do and be a better lover. Thats the whole value in what has happened' It took me until now to really understand n believe it. thank you my fren.
I guess it not only applies to failed relationships. It can be same for businesses, driving tests(for ah pang) or rather, in all aspects of life. Lets all stop biatching abt life n learn as we grow old. Thats the only valuable thing in ageing.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
maybe its definate
I woke up at 11am tks to sexyback's phone call harassment, i mean.... i shud get to wake up after 12 on a saturday right? I was lying on my bed talking to him on my cellphone n he has the cheek to ask me to leave my bed, walk to the living room and use the house phone to call him.
Am supposed to go cycling with shir at ec but i had to visit my gran who isnt feeling well at the hospital, so sorry to aeroplane her, sorry my bad. I reached there and was surprised to see my fren steph there. Her mum is actually sleeping beside my gran's bed, talk abt coincidence. We smiled, exchanged eye contacts and that was really it. Guess the hospital is not really a good place to see ur frens unless we r talking abt the baby delivery rooms. Granny is feeling tired today and didnt talk much. She fell asleep while i was sitting silently beside her. Suddenly she opened her eyes and asked me: ah kai, is ah ma going to die this time? I did not know what to say. I answered: why did u say that?(though we both know the answer to it; the devil has always been just a earshot away) She did not answer, closed her eyes n went back to sleep. Maybe this is living, life's really a bitch sometimes.
I left the hospital to catch a movie with Jodie and Joann; Definately Maybe. The cab fare costs me 20 bucks wtf! And when i collected the tickets, had a smoke n went back to our meeting place, the ladies are not here yet... not very interested la they. The movie was beautiful, but i felt im like the male lead, always missing the train and to suddenly come to terms with reality abt the things that u have always believed in life, that they are not what u believed, it can be devastating. When the movie ended, the two biatches turned to me and said: yingkai dun feel sad or lonely hor. Thats when i feel like committing my first assault on fellow human beings in GV tampines and slap them. But i love them la, they are good people.
Had dinner with them together with sexyback and koo bye at swensens. Eating is a chore as always. No prizes to guess who finished last. And the day ended with 3 guys drinking n eating stingray at old kallang airport hawker centre, talking nothing but cock as always. I love them too btw.
Am supposed to go cycling with shir at ec but i had to visit my gran who isnt feeling well at the hospital, so sorry to aeroplane her, sorry my bad. I reached there and was surprised to see my fren steph there. Her mum is actually sleeping beside my gran's bed, talk abt coincidence. We smiled, exchanged eye contacts and that was really it. Guess the hospital is not really a good place to see ur frens unless we r talking abt the baby delivery rooms. Granny is feeling tired today and didnt talk much. She fell asleep while i was sitting silently beside her. Suddenly she opened her eyes and asked me: ah kai, is ah ma going to die this time? I did not know what to say. I answered: why did u say that?(though we both know the answer to it; the devil has always been just a earshot away) She did not answer, closed her eyes n went back to sleep. Maybe this is living, life's really a bitch sometimes.
I left the hospital to catch a movie with Jodie and Joann; Definately Maybe. The cab fare costs me 20 bucks wtf! And when i collected the tickets, had a smoke n went back to our meeting place, the ladies are not here yet... not very interested la they. The movie was beautiful, but i felt im like the male lead, always missing the train and to suddenly come to terms with reality abt the things that u have always believed in life, that they are not what u believed, it can be devastating. When the movie ended, the two biatches turned to me and said: yingkai dun feel sad or lonely hor. Thats when i feel like committing my first assault on fellow human beings in GV tampines and slap them. But i love them la, they are good people.
Had dinner with them together with sexyback and koo bye at swensens. Eating is a chore as always. No prizes to guess who finished last. And the day ended with 3 guys drinking n eating stingray at old kallang airport hawker centre, talking nothing but cock as always. I love them too btw.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Brace urself
This is day 3 of my braces adventure. I had them on since saturday and had felt the impact more or less. No more burger king mushroom swiss, KFC cheese fries are out, bye bye apples, peanuts and popcorn. In came the porridge, mash potatoes and cereal drinks. Not to mention ktv sessions. It will come with a lao hong effect now. All in all, its still good compared to the tonsilitis i had last year where every food or drink is a nightmare. I cant really swallow like zoe tay. This is still fine except that the teeth hurt at the slightest touch. Not to mention the lips being bua-ed by the metal slots causing distress.
No Jodie; u wont even think of kissing, so ur concern is unwarranted. Nobody wants to kiss a metal mouth like u said. Ill say, u wont want to kiss people with a metal mouth either.
No Jodie; u wont even think of kissing, so ur concern is unwarranted. Nobody wants to kiss a metal mouth like u said. Ill say, u wont want to kiss people with a metal mouth either.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Maybe its better that way
For a long time i thought il succeed. For a long time i thought its only temporary. For a long time i thought all will be like the good old days. I have been wrong for a long time. I know what to do already. Tks sexyback, tks to those who tried talking sense to me while i act like a man who had lost everything in the world.
I wasnt really good these few weeks. I was visiting gran when she suddenly cant breathe well. Her condition got real bad that i have to bring her to the hospital. With my aunt stil working outside, we do not have any vehicle available. Thats where i felt the strain of uselessness. Yea, my dad always says owning a car is expensive, he rather not own one; my aunt said owning a car is expensive as well. But imagine owning a car in this situation where i can rush my gran to the hospital. I always have this "my family have to rely on others' vehicles to get to anywhere" thought. Call it egoistic, call it materialistic but im getting a car jus to dispel this sense of relying on others. I HATE it. In the end, i had to bring her down, hail a cab to send her to the hospital cos i reckon calling an ambulance might be too late.
I sat at the front while gran sat behind. We were in the cab for not for even a minute when she felt really terrible. She shouted she cant breathe and grabbed me from my back real tight. She told me she will die. At that moment, i duno what to do. I can only keep patting her back and tell her we are reaching the hospital soon though we are not. That sense of uselessness and helplessness when the grim reaper threatens to strike. What can mere mortals do? Fortunately, she managed to survive till we reached the hospital. That's where i turn from being sorrowful to a very angry man. The doctor was talking to one of the patients while i push my gran in the wheelchair. Gran was still shouting that she cant breathe n sighing so loudly everyones' eyes were fixated on grandma n grandson. I asked the doctor for help and he can give me a bloody 'pls get her to register first' reply. The A&E of Changi Hospital doesnt seem so A&E oriented at all to me. The nurse that came fared no better. She asked me a question twice when she is taking the blood pressure of my grandma and i snapped at the second reply. A thousand years also passed before she managed to get a reading of the blood pressure when a few seconds is all it takes. Then im left to wait outside while they gave my gran 4 injections.
My aunt arrived later and the doctor gave us an assessment of the condition. She teared when she heard what the doctor said. For the 1st time in my life, i hope my gran will go peacefully and stop her suffering. Its either saving her legs or saving her life. At age 80 plus, losing her legs is as good as dead i feel. And the scene of her telling me she is going to die when she grabs me in the cab. I guess grandpa is getting lonely and wants her to accompany him.
Maybe its time to stop being selfish to others, you and me alike.
I wasnt really good these few weeks. I was visiting gran when she suddenly cant breathe well. Her condition got real bad that i have to bring her to the hospital. With my aunt stil working outside, we do not have any vehicle available. Thats where i felt the strain of uselessness. Yea, my dad always says owning a car is expensive, he rather not own one; my aunt said owning a car is expensive as well. But imagine owning a car in this situation where i can rush my gran to the hospital. I always have this "my family have to rely on others' vehicles to get to anywhere" thought. Call it egoistic, call it materialistic but im getting a car jus to dispel this sense of relying on others. I HATE it. In the end, i had to bring her down, hail a cab to send her to the hospital cos i reckon calling an ambulance might be too late.
I sat at the front while gran sat behind. We were in the cab for not for even a minute when she felt really terrible. She shouted she cant breathe and grabbed me from my back real tight. She told me she will die. At that moment, i duno what to do. I can only keep patting her back and tell her we are reaching the hospital soon though we are not. That sense of uselessness and helplessness when the grim reaper threatens to strike. What can mere mortals do? Fortunately, she managed to survive till we reached the hospital. That's where i turn from being sorrowful to a very angry man. The doctor was talking to one of the patients while i push my gran in the wheelchair. Gran was still shouting that she cant breathe n sighing so loudly everyones' eyes were fixated on grandma n grandson. I asked the doctor for help and he can give me a bloody 'pls get her to register first' reply. The A&E of Changi Hospital doesnt seem so A&E oriented at all to me. The nurse that came fared no better. She asked me a question twice when she is taking the blood pressure of my grandma and i snapped at the second reply. A thousand years also passed before she managed to get a reading of the blood pressure when a few seconds is all it takes. Then im left to wait outside while they gave my gran 4 injections.
My aunt arrived later and the doctor gave us an assessment of the condition. She teared when she heard what the doctor said. For the 1st time in my life, i hope my gran will go peacefully and stop her suffering. Its either saving her legs or saving her life. At age 80 plus, losing her legs is as good as dead i feel. And the scene of her telling me she is going to die when she grabs me in the cab. I guess grandpa is getting lonely and wants her to accompany him.
Maybe its time to stop being selfish to others, you and me alike.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Alone with 江山美人
Its been a while since i posted anything. Not becos im busy, not becos i couldnt be bothered but becos my life's such a routine there is nothing much to write abt. There are times where u jus wan to be not sober n spend the day away. There are times where u wan to be alone by urself. Yesterday was such a day. Was supposed to meet sexyback but jus suddenly have the urge to be alone. Cancelled outing with him n hit bedok for a movie alone. It seems none of my frens are interested in the movie 江山美人. Maybe it is becos of the way the movie title is named or none of them likes the actors/actress involved but its a good movie though. Its even better when its free sitting inside the dilapidated cinema with a mcnuggets meal in hand.
I have always like this type of movies with the 3000 plus people involved war scenes and the design of armours on each character. Their armours always come with a tinge of modernization that can put some designers to shame. Kelly Chen's helmet is a masterpiece. At first glance, it looks like a chicken's head with those long thin metal pieces sticking out but i guess the helmet typically signifies her. They both belong to the category of 'the more u look, the nicer they are' type.
Though its a war movie, there is ur usual love development between the leads and its really beautiful. Ladies might be turned off by the title (realy damm o'biang), so.... from a marketing perspective, it shud be renamed as 'Hot air ballon trip with ur loved one'. Hmmm this sucks from a male's point of view though. But trust me, while im seldom right of some things in life....i do have my fair share of correct judgements.
I have always like this type of movies with the 3000 plus people involved war scenes and the design of armours on each character. Their armours always come with a tinge of modernization that can put some designers to shame. Kelly Chen's helmet is a masterpiece. At first glance, it looks like a chicken's head with those long thin metal pieces sticking out but i guess the helmet typically signifies her. They both belong to the category of 'the more u look, the nicer they are' type.
Though its a war movie, there is ur usual love development between the leads and its really beautiful. Ladies might be turned off by the title (realy damm o'biang), so.... from a marketing perspective, it shud be renamed as 'Hot air ballon trip with ur loved one'. Hmmm this sucks from a male's point of view though. But trust me, while im seldom right of some things in life....i do have my fair share of correct judgements.
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