we have all been scarred one way or another

how many of us had jus one right relationship and got married? Of those who get married, how many get to live happily ever after?some of us are so haunted by one previous heartache tat we lose the faith in love maybe.some let hatred took over.i read a guy's blog who got ditched n hes now exacting revenge by sleeping ard with as many gals as he can now.

the thing is, isnt love supposed to conquer all?but as love seem to be the thing tat conquers all, it also can pierce ur heart n leave irreversible scars. the scars can only heal when,you open up and let love heal u.

wave after wave

Its been close to a year where i experienced emotional heartache. i was really wasting my life back then with nights of drinking, going to work late and the mind a blank all day long. and when i started to wake up from this terrible depression, my grandma left me. devastating blow after blow followed.surprisingly, i kinda got over gran's death in a couple of days...i duno if its becos subconsciously i have been preparing myself for it or i tot it was in her best interests of her to leave the physical suffering behind. i do still tink of her, hoping that she comes to my dream n we can relive the grandma-grandson relationship but it doesnt really always happen the way u wan it to be.i wonder if dreams are for sale. if so, whats the price u will be willing to pay for one sweet dream? as i put the death of granny away, it does seem life returned to normal. jus finally i tot....the clouds r clearing n i do see the sunshine after the rain. the oasis appearing after the dreaded journey in the desert.i found a reason to look forward to life each day suddenly.a reason to smile even after a hard days work.a reason to care n love but... as i tot i was drawing closer n closer to the oasis, it might turn out to be a mirage afterall.whats going to happen then? i wouldnt know.i duno its an oasis or mirage at this moment n i can only keep walking n walking towards it, hoping i do get the ending i wan for this episode. fucking emo again? no, it might be jus another wave.i really hope hope not.

Fight Club. Whos in?

i just caught fight club. nvr felt so estranged in my life until now. i liked the initial part of the movie. witty dark humour and a self alighment i had with the character. what are all of us to begin with? as the movie grew, so does the inner side of me.it grew darker, deeper, n lower; close to rock bottom. yea, when u lose everyting, thats when u can do anything. i duno why i am having such dark thoughts on a seemingly nice saturday afternoon. i feel released suddenly, wanting to do anyting tat comes to my mind be it good, bad, angelic or devilish. then the consciousness kick in. We r human beings, tats why we can control n do things which we deemed fit n necessary. we aint some foul smelling beasts which does nothing but eat sleep n reproduce as they deem liked. but in the movie, its showing what a human being is capable of doing, with the thoughts of an enraged soul lying in a corner of our minds.except that he gets away with it cos its a movie while u dun get a second chance in life.is tat why we r doing and what we r trying to do here? avoiding conflicts? avoiding fights? keeping the inner self in check while pursuing needless things?this movie is not for the ones on the fence; it will jus push u over the lawn of self decrepting wastes.u got to be responsible if u r tinking of watching this movie.u dun make omelettes without breaking a few eggs though... i broke mine